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The ABCs of Agony

A - Apathy. Your apathy during our separation is killing me. You know I’m still waiting for you, but you remain cold. I guess you’re just expecting me to give up on my own. B - Bombing. Bombing of any kind is never a good idea, including your favorite pastime: love bombing. C - Counting. To this day, I am still counting how many seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, and months we have wasted since separating. D - Duress. Ever since the beginning, you fucked things up in ways I never would’ve imagined, ways I would never wish on my worst enemies. I gave you grace under duress, and you still left nonetheless. E - Envy. Sometimes, I envy the residents of the loony bin. Maybe that’s where I belong, eventually. F - Fall. This September would’ve been the beginning of fall elsewhere. Little did I know, it was the beginning of my fall into madness, as well. Our relationship falls apart, and I was blindsided, yet again. G - Grief. To grieve you is akin to grieving someone who passed, yet still
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The Final Problem

 This is it. The final problem. The one thing that has been rearing its ugly face time and time again, the one that has kept me wondering for ages; I have now finally figured it out. The final problem is me . This probably won't come as a shock to you, seeing how unstable I have been throughout the years, but believe me, I have tried to be better, to do better. Yet it seems to always fall short. I cannot stress enough how many bridges I've burned unintentionally simply because I cannot control what comes out of my mouth. It is ironic, to say the least. As someone who deals with words daily, I sure am careless with how powerful words can be. I have been irresponsibly wielding that power for too long, and now I face my reckoning. I have lost yet another. This time even worse than previous losses. By this time, I am sure everyone would've expected me to learn from my mistakes and be better, yes? Apparently not. I may have improved a little, but I have not improved as a person.
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Life Is but a Prototype

Life... what a joke. A never-ending circus of disappointment, heartache, and shattered dreams. It's like being trapped in a decrepit carnival where the rides are broken, the clowns are sinister, and the cotton candy tastes of anything but sweetness.   Welcome to the twisted reality we call existence?   Every day feels like a relentless battle against the monotony. We wake up, drag ourselves out of bed, and trudge through the motions like mindless automatons. We chase after success, love, and happiness, only to have them slip through our fingers like sand. It's a cruel game engineered by some sadistic force beyond our comprehension, and we're the hapless players, forever chasing after elusive prizes. Life, in its infinite complexity, throws us curveballs at every turn. We are plagued by uncertainty, by heartbreak, by the inevitable specter of loss. We build castles of hope, only to watch them crumble into ruins before our very eyes. Life delights in its cruel sense of irony,
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