Goddammit, Me

Each and every one of us has a different understanding of the concept of home. More often than not, home is with our family, if they’re still alive, that is. Although I could be wrong, and I know I’m wrong in certain cases. The phrase “home is where the heart is” itself is chock-full of mysteries. How can it not be? I mean, wh- what is home? What is heart? You gotta figure out which is which and there could be no telling as far as logic’s concerned.

A lot of people, myself included, spend a great deal of time trying to find our place in the world. Our home. Why? I dunno, cause people want to belong, I suppose. Aside from a sense of purpose and approval, I guess people just want to feel like they belong. This can be awful if 1) they were born without family 2) their house/family just isn’t right. They can end up being worse off than where they started.

Sad as it may sound, this is more common than what you may think. Check yourself; you might be a victim of this as well. Discontentment is one of the most prevalent symptoms, and speaking from experience, it hits home (ha). If you’re not content with your current state, chances are your heart is not in the right place, because home is where the heart is… get it? No? Ugh okay I’ll stop.

But seriously, some people decide it would be a good idea to build a home in someone. As in, make a home out of someone else. Now, this could work, but it often blows up in their faces. Why? Because in most cases they would completely lose themselves in their endeavor to make this person happy. In doing so they more or less make a pact with the Devil, and we all know you don’t make a deal with the Devil. Nope. Never.

Those people I mentioned earlier tend to get taken advantage of. It’s on them, really. However, we cannot really blame them, now can we? After all, they are but trying to find the ever-elusive home. Now, if I’ve learned anything the past few years, it’s that you don’t “find” home or “build” it in someone else. No. You would have to do better than that. You have to be content with yourself first and foremost. It sounds fucking cliché but it’s true. Borrowing something from the 2017 film Thor: Ragnarok, where it is mentioned that “Asgard is not a place, it’s a people,” and the same can be said about this whole home concept — home is not a place, or a people; it’s something you build from self-contentment for you, and only yourself.

I realize that I’m starting to sound like one of those Internet gurus, but hey, suppose they have a point every once in a while, yeah? Now, I know some people who have been through hell, and despite the shitty situation they found themselves in, somehow felt right at home if that makes sense. Unless, of course, they were faking it the whole time, then that would mean I’ve been blabbing about finding home in oneself and all that jazz for nothing and you’re shit out of luck, sorry.