Entry #16

On moving on: I think, my issue boils down to how I see her:

Even to this day, I still feel like she’s the one, you know? Like, yeah I see a future with her. This has only happened once, and that’s with her. You can imagine the loss and pain of losing someone that you see a future with.


Now, I know that she’s doing all she can to erase me, even going so far as to block me on Spotify. Yeah, fucking Spotify. Imagine someone going that far to erase someone from their life, but somehow it doesn’t really change the way I see her.


I think I’m waiting for a ghost to come home. I think that’s why each time I wake up, I feel anxious. You know? The type of anxiety you get when you’re waiting for your package to arrive or something. Yeah, that pretty much sums it up for me. I know I should move on, my big brain keeps telling me to, but my idiot heart says, “Wait. Wait a little longer.” I don't think that it's gonna end well for me. Not at all.


I’m an idiot. My pain is self-chosen.

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